I've been thinking lately, actually I've kind of been haunted lately by this thought that continues to creep into my blissful and fantasy filled life here in Germany. As we inch toward our one year mark I sometimes feel guilty for all I've been able to experience this year. To me, my life is so much more than I could have ever wished for; why a small town girl like me deserves so many blessings is a mystery to me. I watch the news and to some extent I feel removed from the realities of people suffering in places like Japan and the Middle East. I continue to watch and I'm reminded that we are still at war and my husband, no matter how currently removed, is still a part of that reality.
When I get these feelings of guilt I try to remind myself that it is no accident that we are here in Germany; and it's not an accident that we are so thoroughly enjoying our time here. Yesterday, I was at the playground with my kids and I heard several other military moms complaining about being stationed here. They complained about how expensive it is here, complained about living in a different culture, and talked about how they don't have a desire to explore their new environment. In this moment I realized that Europe is not necessarily everyone's dream come true.
I couldn't even begin to imagine living here and hating it so much, actively counting the weeks, months and years until returning to the States; not this girl. I firmly believe--when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. For me, my European adventure is anything but a basket of lemons. To this small town girl, Europe is like the most decadent piece of chocolate, and I'm CHOOSING to use this chocolate to make a sumptuous cake piled sky high with sweet frosting. I'm determined to make the most of every single second here because I know that life is not a dress rehearsal and even though I've been blessed with so many good days I dare not waste a single one. I know I will eventually awaken from this dream and I will be back home in the country I love and my husband will return to a job filled with sacrifice.
A few weeks ago, my husband mentioned a coworker would be deploying to Afghanistan as soon as they left Germany and returned to the States. That was all my thinking brain needed to hear, a tiny seed was immediately planted and my mind has now settled on the possibility of this reality. As I stand back and watch this military life cycle turn, I see families prepare to leave Germany this summer and the thought of everything that means is very real for me even though I still have two years left. I've also noticed the way I feel when I read my Facebook friend's reports about their husbands and their current and future deployments. I know all too well the emptiness they are trying to fill while their husbands are away and I'm filled with feelings of guilt for living on my three year holiday while they are suffering through deployments. There is a very good chance, that I will meet a similar fate in a few short years when I return to the States, and this is the nightmare that won't leave my mind.
I so wish I could say something that would make me sound honorable and strong, but the truth is I really hate war and hate being without my husband. If and when he comes home and says he's off to Afghanistan, I will understand and not complain because I know it is his turn to go. I also know that no matter how much we don't like being apart, it is his obligation and duty as a Marine; responsibility often comes at a hefty price. But make no mistake about the reality, deployments are a nightmare for military families. For now, I'm going to do my best to lock my fears away and live in the beautiful moment of the present.
I pray for all the service men and women that are in harms way today and the families they leave behind.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Fasching anyone?
I'm not sure how we missed out on the whole Fasching holiday the last time we lived here in Germany. Honestly, I really don't remember it being a big deal, but recently I learned just how little I knew about Fasching and how interesting the holiday celebration is. Last week my daughter's German tennis coach informed me that there would be no tennis for this entire week because of Fasching. In fact, the German schools have holiday for the week as well. Wow, I thought this must be a huge deal because we have never not had tennis for an entire week, except Christmas. My daughter's coach then went on to ask me how we would celebrate Fasching? David looked completely shocked and surprised when I informed him that we had no plans to celebrate the Fasching holiday. He was stunned by my response and went on to ask if my daughter's school would take the holiday off and if my husband had it off from work. This was very amusing to me because of course Americans do not get the week off to celebrate Fasching, but wouldn't it be nice if we did. David then went on to inform me that he would be dressing up as Batman for Fasching, and true to his personality, he then went on to explain who Batman was, thinking maybe I wasn't familiar with this character. Really? Too funny.
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| Waiting for the parade to start |
After my conversation with David we decided we should attend a Fasching parade with the kids, thinking they would probably really enjoy it. We really had no idea what to expect or what it was even all about. As I started looking into the celebration and holiday I learned Fasching is similar to Mardi Gras and Carnival and is centered around the religious holiday of Easter and the upcoming day of Ash Wednesday. I also learned that Fasching means "Fools Parade" and it is celebrated differently depending on the region of Germany. I learned people dress up like witches and wear these AMAZING handmade wooden masks. Fasching has evolved over the years and there are now all sorts of silly costumes, sort of like Halloween in the States. The holiday is celebrated with marching bands and parades, but the tradition remains centered around the witch and elaborate wooden masks.
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| Interesting wood carved mask |
For our first Fasching experience we decided to visit Weil Der Stadt, a nearby medieval town we had not yet had the opportunity to visit, but really wanted to. Weil Der Stadt is a traditional German town in the middle of a beautiful countryside with farms and walking paths surrounding it. On our short drive to Weil der Stadt we saw many horses out in the countryside either being ridden or walked by their owners. It was such a beautiful sight to see on our way to the parade. I love the way Germany has open spaces for all sorts of outdoor things. This is certainly one of my favorite things about Germany; open spaces everywhere where anyone can walk, ride bikes, or even take their horse for a nice stroll. Most cities and towns are connected by these wonderful multipurpose paths.
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| Gypsy Float getting ready for its turn in the Parade |
Markets), I'm always in awe of the way German's celebrate their traditions. There is always some sort of festival or reason to celebrate here in Germany with family and friends. Their strong belief in tradition was evident as I looked at the costumes and wooden masks that seemed to be passed down for generations. As I've attended quite a few European festivals now, I always notice how there are no franchises making a profit at these events, only Mom and Pop (Mutter and Vater to be correct) type businesses serving the standard fair; bratwurst, pizza, donners and of course my personal favorite crepes. Even though it was a cold day, entire families were dressed in vivid costumes with matching wooden masks and everyone that participated in the parade seemed so happy and proud of their town.
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| Chef float, they were actually cooking & handing out food! |
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| Monks passing out beer in the parade |
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| Weil der Stadt town center |
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Amusing Lessons Learned
This is sort of a silly post, however I try to express how I see the world around me and share many of the things I find interesting. One of the many benefits of living overseas is it reminds me to not take life too seriously. There are so many positive rewards to living here in Germany; however, there are also challenges as well. First and foremost, my life here can not be compared to my "normal" life back in the States. The two lives are completely different. For example, my family and I now live on the 3rd floor in a tiny apartment that is less than half the size of my previous home in North Carolina. Our downsized living space presents many problems, specifically regarding the lack of closet space; think hotel room size closet here vice walk-in closet and you'll have an accurate picture of what I am dealing with. Seriously, I knew I was in trouble before our movers came with the majority of my stuff when I unpacked my suitcases and the clothing I had traveled with didn't fit in my new apartment closets. Yikes!! I know I do have a "bit" of clothes but seriously the size of my apartment closets here are ridiculous. Apartment living with our 100lb German Shepherd Lucy has also been a blast. Luckily for me, taking her out is one of the few jobs that doesn't fall under my list of duties. Thank heavens!
Some other small inconveniences that differ from our state-side lives are; the 8 Armed Forces Television channels we are so blessed to receive (slight sarcasm here), the telephone and internet odyssey that took several months to resolve--we didn't have internet or telephone service for our first few months here (that was fun), how gas costs $8 a gallon once we travel outside of Germany (we can buy gas on the Army base here and at Esso stations in Germany at close to state side prices but have to pay local economy prices when traveling anywhere else); how the dollar continues to decline in value against the Euro--it now hovers around .70 US cents for every 1Euro. If you move here and spend too much time thinking about the conversion rate you will never venture out and do anything. It could make you a very tight walleted person, luckily for me I don't have that problem...maybe not so lucky for my husband who always wants to think about the rainy day.
I could go on and and on; however, these are just mild inconveniences and truly for me the rewards of our European vacation far outweigh these tiny hiccups. I guess I've learned to become unattached to the normalcy's of my previously "normal" life. For example, I happily now have the lowest tech cell phone available, my husband and I share one car, & I can't run to the mall, Target or Marshalls for a quick shopping fix (every business is closed in Europe on Sunday) but instead I have to order everything online and wait up to six weeks for the item to arrive. Hopefully I like the item once it does arrive (six weeks later), hopefully it fits, hopefully I still want it. Again, I could go on and on but these inconveniences are all little reminders for me of what really matters and more importantly how little control I have over all of this.
Another blessing about living in Europe is the amusing differences in our cultures. My family and I have learned so many lessons from experiencing these differences. Many times, my husband and I will either start smiling or start laughing out loud at something we find so amusing; I know silly Americans. Sometimes we wish we could take a picture of the funny experience and share it with our friends and family. Actually, truth be told, we once took pictures of complete European strangers at LegoLand because we found them so darn funny, but then we realized we might be mistaken for stalkers or perverts so we decided against future random pictures of strangers.
Europeans have a freeing sense of self when it comes to their bodies. From my last experience living overseas, I remembered the topless women on the beaches. I vividly remember while vacationing in Spain and the Canary Islands, I was the only one on the beach wearing my bikini top. Now, before you get too far ahead of yourself, keep in mind this is much more appealing in fantasy than reality. In reality, not only will you see beautiful Italian women without a top, but you are also guaranteed to see their grandmothers as well. To my husbands displeasure, my bikini top stayed firmly tied, however I felt liberated by these woman's acceptance of themselves and their bodies and the whole experience made me feel more beautiful in my own skin. Europeans aren't as concerned with hiding their imperfections; conversely they seem to embrace the beauty of their bodies no matter their age, size or shape.
Europeans willingness to drop their clothing in public has caused many a smirk or chuckle in my household. Silly Americans. While living in Frankfurt (last time we were here), we lived right next to a public park deemed "the naked guy park" by the many Americans in our neighborhood because of all the naked guys who would drop their clothes and lounge in the park whenever the temperature broke 70 degrees; amusing and liberating at the same time. I've encountered many European adults who insist on changing their clothes in public and have absolutely no qualms about doing so right in front of you, your children or anybody else for that matter. Recently a middle aged woman took us completely by surprise when she stripped down to her undies and changed into her softball outfit right in front of us. Hello!
However, my all-time favorite (so far) is our experience at LegoLand. We visited the park on a relatively hot (for European standards) day and were totally taken aback by the sights we saw. If you've ever been to LegoLand you know the park has a few water rides. By water rides I mean the potential to get wet exists but isn't guaranteed--think log or rapids rides at any traditional amusement park. Well, the POTENTIAL in Europe has a very different meaning than it does to most Americans--everywhere I looked adults and children alike were systematically changing into their swimsuits before going on the water rides. My husband and I thought--why in the world would you need your swimsuit at an amusement park? The European answer of course is to go on the "water" rides or frolic with their children in the park's many fountains. Silly Americans. Have you ever seen an adult frolicking in a public fountain in their swim suit in the States? Me neither; again amusing and liberating at the same time.
Lastly, it is very common in Europe to experience someone relieving themselves on the side of the road, hopefully facing away from you but maybe not. I used to think it was only the children, but throughout our travels on the autobahn it is just as common to see adults creating a roadside restroom as it is their children. I'm not talking behind bushes here, I literally mean right on the side of the road for the world to see. Moms will literally hold their kids legs up and the kiddos, girls or boys will go right there in front of you. Now, I will freely admit that this is a bit weird for the girl who has public restroom issues, but at the end of the day-- who am I to judge.
I find this all so interesting, because we Americans would never be so comfortable with ourselves as our European friends have demonstrated time and time again. I cannot and will not tell a lie, I do miss the days of lounging in my backyard, swimming in my pool, and enjoying the spaciousness of my North Carolina home, but I have also learned to embrace and appreciate my new European normalcy too. Don't worry, I won't be wearing my swimsuit to LegoLand the next time we visit, and I won't be shedding my bikini top on my next summer vacation and I definitely won't be relieving myself in public on my next road trip. I will however, continue to see each European experience for what it is: a reminder of how cultural differences shouldn't be considered bad, just different and how simple life can truly be.
Some other small inconveniences that differ from our state-side lives are; the 8 Armed Forces Television channels we are so blessed to receive (slight sarcasm here), the telephone and internet odyssey that took several months to resolve--we didn't have internet or telephone service for our first few months here (that was fun), how gas costs $8 a gallon once we travel outside of Germany (we can buy gas on the Army base here and at Esso stations in Germany at close to state side prices but have to pay local economy prices when traveling anywhere else); how the dollar continues to decline in value against the Euro--it now hovers around .70 US cents for every 1Euro. If you move here and spend too much time thinking about the conversion rate you will never venture out and do anything. It could make you a very tight walleted person, luckily for me I don't have that problem...maybe not so lucky for my husband who always wants to think about the rainy day.
I could go on and and on; however, these are just mild inconveniences and truly for me the rewards of our European vacation far outweigh these tiny hiccups. I guess I've learned to become unattached to the normalcy's of my previously "normal" life. For example, I happily now have the lowest tech cell phone available, my husband and I share one car, & I can't run to the mall, Target or Marshalls for a quick shopping fix (every business is closed in Europe on Sunday) but instead I have to order everything online and wait up to six weeks for the item to arrive. Hopefully I like the item once it does arrive (six weeks later), hopefully it fits, hopefully I still want it. Again, I could go on and on but these inconveniences are all little reminders for me of what really matters and more importantly how little control I have over all of this.
Another blessing about living in Europe is the amusing differences in our cultures. My family and I have learned so many lessons from experiencing these differences. Many times, my husband and I will either start smiling or start laughing out loud at something we find so amusing; I know silly Americans. Sometimes we wish we could take a picture of the funny experience and share it with our friends and family. Actually, truth be told, we once took pictures of complete European strangers at LegoLand because we found them so darn funny, but then we realized we might be mistaken for stalkers or perverts so we decided against future random pictures of strangers.
Europeans have a freeing sense of self when it comes to their bodies. From my last experience living overseas, I remembered the topless women on the beaches. I vividly remember while vacationing in Spain and the Canary Islands, I was the only one on the beach wearing my bikini top. Now, before you get too far ahead of yourself, keep in mind this is much more appealing in fantasy than reality. In reality, not only will you see beautiful Italian women without a top, but you are also guaranteed to see their grandmothers as well. To my husbands displeasure, my bikini top stayed firmly tied, however I felt liberated by these woman's acceptance of themselves and their bodies and the whole experience made me feel more beautiful in my own skin. Europeans aren't as concerned with hiding their imperfections; conversely they seem to embrace the beauty of their bodies no matter their age, size or shape.
Europeans willingness to drop their clothing in public has caused many a smirk or chuckle in my household. Silly Americans. While living in Frankfurt (last time we were here), we lived right next to a public park deemed "the naked guy park" by the many Americans in our neighborhood because of all the naked guys who would drop their clothes and lounge in the park whenever the temperature broke 70 degrees; amusing and liberating at the same time. I've encountered many European adults who insist on changing their clothes in public and have absolutely no qualms about doing so right in front of you, your children or anybody else for that matter. Recently a middle aged woman took us completely by surprise when she stripped down to her undies and changed into her softball outfit right in front of us. Hello!
However, my all-time favorite (so far) is our experience at LegoLand. We visited the park on a relatively hot (for European standards) day and were totally taken aback by the sights we saw. If you've ever been to LegoLand you know the park has a few water rides. By water rides I mean the potential to get wet exists but isn't guaranteed--think log or rapids rides at any traditional amusement park. Well, the POTENTIAL in Europe has a very different meaning than it does to most Americans--everywhere I looked adults and children alike were systematically changing into their swimsuits before going on the water rides. My husband and I thought--why in the world would you need your swimsuit at an amusement park? The European answer of course is to go on the "water" rides or frolic with their children in the park's many fountains. Silly Americans. Have you ever seen an adult frolicking in a public fountain in their swim suit in the States? Me neither; again amusing and liberating at the same time.
Lastly, it is very common in Europe to experience someone relieving themselves on the side of the road, hopefully facing away from you but maybe not. I used to think it was only the children, but throughout our travels on the autobahn it is just as common to see adults creating a roadside restroom as it is their children. I'm not talking behind bushes here, I literally mean right on the side of the road for the world to see. Moms will literally hold their kids legs up and the kiddos, girls or boys will go right there in front of you. Now, I will freely admit that this is a bit weird for the girl who has public restroom issues, but at the end of the day-- who am I to judge.
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| Getting ready for the water ride! |
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| At Legoland pants are optional! |
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