Tuesday morning I woke up and did my normal morning routine, started my coffee and checked the internet. The first story to catch my attention was the deteriorating health of Elizabeth Edwards. I was so saddened to hear that her cancer was worsening and treatment was exhausted. I found myself thinking of her all day. Realizing that I was thinking about so much more than Elizabeth and her battle with cancer. I was thinking about her public story. Married to Ken doll, a life in politics and all the sadness of the story that followed, unfortunately she experienced this all publicly and we all know it too well. At first I admired their relationship, this smart women and smart man of the same age with a lasting relationship based on love. As a woman, we want to believe in the fairy tale.
As an aging woman who knows beauty is fleeting, I want to believe that love is based on so much more than physical qualities. When John Edwards publicly wronged his wife, I felt it affect my pain body. When I would watch the coverage, I felt my mood worsening and realized I was internalizing her pain. I guess this is part of being a woman. Elizabeth seemed to embrace her future honestly and seemed to fight whole-heartedly for the life she had left.
On a very different front, I realized I was reflecting on Elizabeth's battle because of my own father's history with cancer. My father who has battled cancer on four seperate occasions. Who has battled for all of my adult life, yet still battles with more courage than seems humanly possible. As I thought about Elizabeth, I realized I was dealing with death in general. As Elizabeth stated,"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered". The realization that life is a gift, not earned or owed. Like Elizabeth, I have two small children. I found myself thinking about having to leave them too soon, every parents worst dream. So this is how I spent my Tuesday morning.
When I woke up Wednesday morning I repeated my daily routine of coffee and internet. The first news across my screen was the death of Elizabeth Edwards. My saddness and contemplating/reflecting will continue I imagine. I didn't know Elizabeth any more than what the media portrayed. I don't know if she was a nice person or a good wife. However, I know she was a woman, a mother, and a wife. I know that she was battling a disease that looms at all times in my heart. In life Elizabeth poignantly stated,"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death". Thank you for living courageously and being an example for us to live the gift of life to its fullest. Rest in Peace Elizabeth.
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